Tainted Page 13

  “It’s one of the easiest jobs to get.”

  “What about after all this is over?” I ask, knowing I might be pushing too hard, but I need to try.

  Her expression turns distant. “We’ll see,” she says stiltedly.

  I try hard to hide my disappointment, but I’m sure it’s impossible to fully hide.

  Much to my surprise, her eyes soften as she reaches over and rests her soft hand on my bicep. “No plans until after he’s caught, okay?” At least she’s finally beginning to believe that there’s a chance we might nail his ass after all. She takes her hand back and turns onto her stomach, folding her pillow beneath her head, her chin resting on it as she gazes at me. “I wish time could stand still so I could stay in bed with you for hours, or even days.”

  “Me too.”

  A contented silence falls upon us, and I know I’m going to have to ruin it. We need to figure out where we went wrong with our plan and try to make it right. Problem is, if we get it right, Donahue comes after Ren.

  “Just say it.”

  I blink and focus on Ren. “Say what?”

  She gives me a look. “Whatever’s on your mind. I can practically see the wheels turning.”

  I slowly exhale, knowing this is going to be a tough conversation. “We need to figure out how to stop your father.” An idea had come to me late last night, and I know she’s not going to like it.

  “I know. What is it?” she prods.

  “You need to tell your story.”

  A wrinkle forms between her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

  I brace myself for her reaction. “How do you feel about giving an interview and sharing the details of your ordeal? You said so yourself that sharing your story would bother him.”

  “I already gave all the details to the authorities.”

  “I’m referring to an interview with a reputable reporter from a national network,” I say carefully.

  Her lips part before she abruptly sits up, the sheet dropping to her hips. If this were any other conversation, I’d be thoroughly distracted by the sight of those bare globes with their pouting little buds. But this is important, and my eyes remain locked on hers.

  “You’re kidding. Tell me you’re kidding,” she insists.

  I shake my head and sit up. “I wish I were,” I say and genuinely mean it. “We can hide your identity during the interview, that way you’re not hounded by the media once this is all over.” She’s staring at me with a hint of betrayal lurking in the depths of her eyes, and it’s like someone’s taken a hammer to my gut. I hate that I’m even asking this of her, but I force myself to continue. “Do you think an interview could be what pushes him over the edge?”

  She visibly swallows, struggling with her emotions. After a long pause, she looks at me unhappily. “Yes, it probably would,” she says grudgingly.

  Instinct warns me to back the hell off and let her process this on her own. I remain silent, letting her think.

  She fidgets and looks away from me, her eyes moving around the room as the silence lengthens. When her eyes drag themselves back to mine, they look bleak. “Do you know what you’re asking?” she asks in a hollow voice.

  I mentally curse and struggle with the emotions that are causing my chest to tighten. I reach for her hand and find that it’s cold. I quickly enfold it between both of mine, trying to warm it. “I’ll be right there with you,” I vow.

  Her gaze remains locked on mine, and she releases a resigned sigh. “Okay,” she whispers reluctantly.

  I bring her hand to my mouth and brush my lips across her fingertips. “I’ll see what I can pull together.”

  Her jaw firms, and I see a glimmer of grit enter her gaze. “If I do this, I want to legally change my name. I don’t want the past to haunt my future.” She blinks, realizing that for the first time, she’s spoken out loud that she believes she has a future.

  “Deal.”

  Twenty-four

  Ren

  My stomach aches like it’s filled with cement, and I want to vomit. It’d only taken Holden two days to secure an interview with a top-rated network. It’s all happened much faster than I’d expected, but with my father still out there and taking victims, the network is anxious to air the interview knowing it’ll increase ratings.

  I feel like I’m selling my soul to an entirely different kind of devil.

  Holden squeezes my hand, and I glance at him. We’re in his truck, and his fingers are entwined with mine as he drives. He knows how difficult this is going to be, and he feels terrible for even suggesting any of this.

  I get it, though.

  We need to do something, and as much as I hate what I’m about to do, I know that it will gain my father’s attention. That tongue he’d sent me wasn’t just an arbitrary threat. He thinks that I betrayed him, and he’d wanted me to see the consequences of my actions. Now, I’m going to betray him all over again, and it isn’t something he’s going to be able to ignore.

  At least I won’t have to hear about the interview after it airs. I don’t have a TV, and when I’m in the car, I never listen to the radio. Bull’s only has one TV, and it’s always on mute and playing sports. Holden had assured me that the police would field all phone calls from other media outlets hoping for their own interviews.

  Thankfully, people here in Little Rock don’t know who I am since I just go by Ren. They likely won’t put two and two together, at least I hope. My biggest fear is that a nosy reporter might dig up old articles and somehow get my photo out there. Holden keeps telling me not to worry about the possibility, and if it should happen, we’ll deal with it at that point.

  We’ve stopped at an intersection for a red light, and Holden’s eyes connect with mine. “We’ve taken every possible precaution,” he reassures.

  I nod, and it’s difficult to swallow past the dryness in my throat. We’re doing the interview in the conference room at the police department. There’s no possible way anything’s going to happen there. It’s the following days after the interview airs that worry me.

  I slant him a look. “Are you sure this is going to be worth the panic this will cause?”

  Holden glances at the lights. “The department will handle it.”

  I give him a doubtful look. “People in the area are going to panic as the details emerge.”

  He looks at me and nods. “It’s probably for the best. If people are on guard, that makes for less chance of someone becoming a victim.”

  He has a point. I settle back in my seat as the light changes, and Holden concentrates on the traffic.

  Twenty minutes later, I am sitting in the corner of the conference room while a stylist works on my hair. The room is bustling with activity as the crew assembles the makeshift set and lights. Across the room, the reporter the network had sent is having makeup applied while her eyes remain glued to her phone. When I’d first arrived, she’d come over to introduce herself. She seems nice, and I hope that her interviewing method won’t put me on the defensive.

  I fidget in the chair as the stylist works behind me, pulling my hair back into a sleek chignon. The black pantsuit I’m wearing is making my skin itch, and I’m more uncomfortable than I’ve been in a very long time.

  Holden lingers at my side, making certain that everything is going according to plan. His eyes shift to me, and he gives me an encouraging look.

  I manage to pull together a stiff smile. The next few hours are going to be a nightmare. I’m so scared that I’m going to be thrown into a panic attack or something.

  Holden, sensing my building anxiety, grabs a chair from nearby and situates it directly in front of me. He lowers himself onto it and leans forward, taking my hand. His gray eyes are steady as he says, “Everything’s going to be fine. The reporter has strict instructions that she’s to give you time to pull together your answers, and when you need a break, you just say the word.”

  I nod and immediately feel a tug on the back of my hair. The woman behind me apologizes, and I take c
are to keep still. “She won’t ask me details of what I saw in the basement, correct?” I ask cautiously.

  “That was stipulated from the very beginning. If she goes off course with the questions, the interview is over, and the network won’t have your consent to air it.”

  I draw in a deep breath and exhale, trying to calm my nerves.

  He gives my hand a light squeeze. “I’ll be there for the entire interview. You just signal to me if it gets to be too much.”

  “No,” I say quickly. “I don’t want you here. Or anyone else,” I hurriedly add when I see the hurt reflecting in his eyes. “I just want an empty room except for the reporter and the necessary crew members. Please,” I add.

  He looks like he’d like to argue, but instead he nods. “Whatever you want, Ren.”

  * * *

  The interview was far worse than I’d expected, and it’d left me shaken. As Holden drives me back to the apartment, I can sense him looking at me every so often with concern.

  I stare out my window, wishing I could turn off everything in my mind. The reporter was wonderful, and she’d made it clear during the interview that she considered me a victim. Her questions were well thought-out and tactful. The thing is, it didn’t matter who was asking the questions or how they were being asked, I’d still had to relive the past. It’d taken its toll on me, and I’d requested breaks when I could feel my anxiety building. Thankfully, the crew had been patient with me.

  Now, I’m left feeling hollow, as if someone had emotionally gutted me.

  When we arrive at the apartment building, Holden hovers beside me as he ushers me up to my apartment. Once we’re inside, and the door is locked, I kick off my shoes in the kitchen and trudge to the living room.

  “Ren…” Holden says from behind me, a wealth of remorse in his tone.

  I know how guilty he feels, and I turn to look at him. He’s standing there, his expression painfully torn as he looks to be at a loss for words. “It’s okay,” I tell him.

  He slowly walks over and cups the side of my jaw with his warm touch. “I’d give anything to take your pain away,” he whispers.

  I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his hand. Some of the hollowness fades as I savor his touch. I know what I need, and I open my eyes and look up at him. “Then do it,” I say softly.

  His eyes search mine, and when he sees in my gaze what I want, his lips curve. “That I can definitely do,” he murmurs, pulling me close.

  I enjoy his kiss and let the world fade away as I concentrate only on Holden and how he makes me feel. His chest is warm and solid, and his arms make me feel incredibly safe. As his tongue strokes mine, I grip his shoulders and lift myself up—his hands quickly shifting beneath my butt as I wrap my legs around his waist.

  As he carries me down the hall and to the bedroom, my fingers sink into his hair. When my back touches the mattress, I lock my ankles behind his back, making certain that he can’t go anywhere. Then, I rock my body into his, causing him to groan as he breaks the kiss and begins trailing kisses down my throat.

  I tilt my neck, making sounds of encouragement as he begins unbuttoning my blouse, kissing the skin that he’s revealing. Once he’s divested me of the shirt, he pulls down the straps of my bra, and I arch my back as he unhooks it. That too is tossed to the floor without a second thought before he buries his face in my breasts.

  Once more, my fingers find their way into his hair as his lips close around the tip of my breast, his tongue dancing across it as he rolls the opposite bud between his fingers

  I’m on sensation overload, and I arch my back and breathe his name. When he’s finished playing with my breasts, his lips travel downwards, and he unbuttons my pants. I watch through glazed eyes as he eases back onto his knees and pulls down my pants along with my panties, stripping me bare.

  His hooded eyes lift to mine. “You’re gorgeous, Ren.”

  I give him a provocative smile and sit up to grab hold of his shirt, yanking him down on top of me as I capture his lips with mine. He makes an appreciative sound from the back of his throat as he hovers over me, taking only a moment to strip of out of his shirt before coming back down again to reclaim my mouth.

  As the kiss grows out of control, my heart thunders in my ears as my hands run over his back, enjoying the sensation of his muscles just beneath his warm skin.

  Holden’s hand slides down between our bodies and brushes my wet folds. His fingers slide into me as his thumb moves in circles against my clit.

  I tear my lips from his. “More,” I beg, parting my legs further. Holden’s face hovers above mine, his eyes watching me intently as he pushes his fingers in and out of my warmth, applying pressure to my clit with every thrust. My lips part as my body begins to tingle.

  “That’s it, let me watch you fly,” he murmurs.

  As pleasure explodes and courses throughout my body, I cry out and savor the sensation as he watches with a sexy smile on his face. Just when I’ve begun to come down from the orgasm, his expression shifts as he pulls away and strips off his jeans and briefs. After slipping on a condom, he reaches for me and settles between my thighs. Both of us groan as he sinks into me, and my femininity immediately clenches around him.

  Holden mutters something under his breath and then begins moving his hips. I clutch his shoulders and meet him thrust for thrust. It feels so good, and I rock my hips against his as our lips meet. The kiss is hot and passionate as our bodies work to bring us to the brink of ecstasy.

  Holden’s hands move down to grip my ass, and he hauls me up into his thrusts, grinding hard and deep as he pumps into me. My moans fill the room, and when we finally go over the edge, his voice joins mine.

  Slowly, our bodies still as we both try to catch our breath. Holden braces his weight so that he’s not crushing me while his face is buried against my throat, his breath warm against my skin. His lips press a tender kiss to my pulse before he carefully eases off me. As soon as his back touches the mattress, he tugs on me, and I end up sprawled across his sweaty chest.

  I snuggle closer, relaxing against his body. That was so good. Sex has never been as good as it is with Holden.

  “Ren,” I hear him say softly, his chest a comforting rumble beneath my ear.

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m falling in love with you.”

  My eyes fly open as I go completely still.

  “I just need you to know how I feel. I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

  I’m stunned, and I carefully ease off his chest by a few inches so that I can peer at his face. He can’t possibly be serious, but as I take in his expression, I see that he is. I’m floored and ecstatic at the same time. Reality also comes crashing down to ruin the moment, and I shake my head. “Don’t. Just don’t,” I whisper as my voice breaks.

  He pulls me closer so that my face is hovering inches from his as his eyes refuse to release mine. “The universe isn’t out to get you, Ren. Just because you’re happy doesn’t mean it’s going to be taken away. Nobody’s punishing you.”

  Tears spring to my eyes, and I force him to release me as I sit upright, angrily brushing away the salty drip that’d fallen down my cheek. “The universe has nothing to do with it. My father’s the one who could take it all away.”

  Holden sits up and moves closer, gripping my shoulders. “Then don’t let him. Stop letting him control your life and let me in. Let me be everything that you need.”

  “I’m scared,” I say huskily as more tears trickle down my cheeks.

  He captures a teardrop with his thumb. “It’s okay to be scared, but don’t ever give up fighting. No one controls your life but you. Every decision you make is yours. Everything you feel, it’s yours to experience and to give. He has nothing to do with any of that.”

  I stare at him and know that I’ve fallen so deeply for him. This man, he’s proven over and over that he cares about me and that he’s not going anywhere. It’s time to admit that we’re fighting for our future. I lick my dry lips and
tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I…” I bite my lip and begin again. “I’ve never tried to find happiness because I knew that if he ever found me, it’d be harder to leave this world knowing I’d left something good behind.” I look at him with torment. “I’m scared, because I know it’ll be so much worse staring death in the eye knowing that I’m leaving you behind,” I whisper.

  He frames my face with his hands and looks me square in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. I promise.”

  “Don’t—”

  “—Make promises I can’t keep?” he interrupts as his expression hardens. “Stop letting the doubts rule your life.” His eyes burn into mine. “You are not going anywhere. You’ll still be breathing when this is over.”

  I gaze at him, awed that he has so much faith in me, in us. I need to have faith, too. “When this is over, I want a dog. A big one. And we’re going to name him Brutus,” I say quietly.

  Holden immediately grins. “Brutus? Let’s leave that up for debate. I think we can come up with something better.”

  “I like Brutus,” I say, defending my choice.

  His expression turns serious. “I prefer Terminator.”

  My nose wrinkles. “Terminator? Ew. No.”

  He chuckles and pulls me close, nuzzling my neck. “We can argue later. Right now, I can think of better things to do with our time.”

  Twenty-five

  Holden

  I watch the patrons closely at Bull’s. It’s been three days since Ren’s interview aired on the network, and we’re all on edge. Especially Ren. He’s going to come after her, that much is a given. Now, it’s our job to intercept him before he can hurt her.

  As predicted, the interview had caused some panic in the Little Rock area, but the department is handling it. If anything, parents are keeping a closer eye on their teenagers and stipulating curfews in hopes of keeping them safe. If Donahue chooses to take his anger out on someone other than Ren, it helps eliminate possible victims. We’re hoping it won’t come to that, but we know his reaction is going to be brutal.