Tainted Read online

  It grates my nerves sitting in the back when I’m the one who’d set this entire thing in motion. However, I know that it won’t always be like this. This is just a stepping stone on the path to what I really want, and that’s to oversee my own team. Someday it’ll happen, but for now, I need to put the work in and earn respect. Nothing is worth having if it’s too easy.

  My thoughts shift back to Ren. She’d put on a brave face before leaving, but I’d seen the fear in the depths of her eyes. I can’t blame her for having doubts.

  Donahue is one sick fucker, and she’s baiting him.

  Twenty-two

  Ren

  I pace the motel room, chewing my thumbnail down to the quick. I’d done everything according to the plan, driving through the night until stopping around six AM at this little motel in Birmingham, Alabama. I still have almost an hour and a half left until reaching Montgomery, but there were concerns that I might fall asleep at the wheel, so here I am.

  I’m supposed to be catching up on sleep, but that’s not going to happen. Instead, I’ve been pacing for the last few hours, too wired to nap. I’ve had no contact with Holden or the others, but I’m remaining positive that they’re nearby.

  There are knots in my stomach from nerves and anxiety, and although I’m hungry, I know I can’t possibly eat a thing. For what feels like the hundredth time, I glance at my watch. I’m not supposed to leave until at least five this evening. When I reach my destination—another out of the way motel—I’m to stay put and expect my father to make a move sometime during the night.

  Unable to resist, I move to the window and carefully ease the corner of the curtain back to peer outside. There are a few cars in the small parking lot, but nothing that stands out. I have no idea if my father took the bait or not, and I doubt he’ll make a move during daylight hours. Holden had assured me that it would be okay to catch up on sleep and that they’d be monitoring the situation, but I can’t let my guard down. There’s too much risk of being caught unaware.

  I carefully let the curtain fall back into place and resume my pacing as I glance around the motel room. This place is creepy as hell, beginning with the exterior. Would it be too much to ask to replace the burnt-out bulbs in the marquee sign instead of allowing half the sign to remain partially lit? I’d noted that the paint outside along the door was peeling, and the inside isn’t much better.

  My nose wrinkles as I scan the threadbare carpet and old furniture. The décor is also outdated, and the blue coverlet on the bed looks thin and worn. I’m almost afraid to lie on it for fear of who has used the bed before me. I’m not even going to get started on the overwhelming scent of stale cigarette smoke.

  This is not the kind of setting I’d imagined when I’d thought about facing down my father. Not only do I have a psycho for a father, but I’m also staying in a motel that looks like it belongs in a horror movie. Thanks, Lieutenant Martinez, I can’t help but think a bit sourly. It’s not like I was expecting to stay somewhere classy, but this place isn’t helping matters. If anything, it has me further on edge.

  As the minutes creep by, I think of Holden. We haven’t known each other long but we’ve developed a connection these past few weeks. Right now, I ache to feel his arms around me. Somehow, since arriving in Little Rock, I’ve begun to see him as a source of safety. Trust has always been impossible for me to give, but Holden has earned it. I know I’m not just a job to him, I’m more. How much more? I’m not certain. Only time will reveal that.

  The hours drag on, and I move around the little room as I try to stay alert. I wonder if my father saw through the plan. He’s an intelligent man or he would’ve been caught long ago. He’s also likely to come for me on his own terms, not on the police’s. What if this was all for nothing?

  * * *

  I’m startled awake by a quiet knock.

  My heart nearly leaps out of my chest as my eyes fly open, and I abruptly straighten in the chair. My neck is protesting from the awkwardness of falling asleep at the sticky table in the corner of the motel room.

  “It’s Holden, Ren,” a familiar voice calls through the door.

  Holden? Thank God. For a moment, thanks to my drowsy state, I’d foolishly worried that it might be my father. After shaking off the last remains of sleep, I scramble to my feet and hurry to the door as my heart begins to calm. My fingers fumble as I release the lock and swing open the door.

  Holden and Detective Bruggs stand there as bright sunlight filters in from behind them, causing me to squint. “What are you guys doing here?” I ask with confusion. I’m still supposed to drive to Montgomery later. I move back to allow them inside as I rub my sore neck and wait for them to fill me in.

  Holden closes the door behind them and looks at me with grim eyes. “We’re certain he didn’t take the bait.”

  “No one followed you out of Little Rock but us,” Bruggs adds.

  My attention shifts to the detective that I haven’t seen since Chicago. He hasn’t changed much. His gray eyes still retain the hard glint always lurking in their depths, and only a touch of gray has tinged the dark hair around his temples. Old emotions rise along with self-doubt and guilt. He’s never looked at me with accusation, but his stern personality never allowed for me to relax around him. His presence has always made me uncomfortable.

  “How can you be certain?” I can’t help but ask.

  “Nobody’s stopped at the motel all night. He didn’t follow you,” Bruggs replies.

  My eyes swing to Holden questioningly, and he nods his agreement. A heavy, strained silence fills the room, and Holden’s the first to break it. He turns to Bruggs. “We’re low on gas,” he says offhandedly.

  Bruggs studies Holden’s expression and nods. “While Harris is talking with your lieutenant, I’ll swing by the gas station a few miles back.” His eyes shift back to me. “Miss Donahue,” he says politely as he moves towards the door.

  “Detective Bruggs,” I say stiffly.

  As soon as he’s gone, and the door closes firmly, Holden hauls me into his arms, holding me tightly. His lips brush along my cheekbone, and I inhale his masculine scent mixed with cologne. It feels so good to have his strong arms wrapped around me again.

  Unfortunately, he releases me all too soon and steps back, giving me a meaningful look. “The others are right outside in the parking lot.”

  I nod and wrap my arms around myself. “He saw right through the plan,” I say quietly. Is it bad to feel relieved that he hadn’t fallen for it? Every minute he’s still out there is a risk to someone else.

  “Looks like it,” he agrees.

  “So what do we do now?”

  He sighs. “Rethink strategy and get you back to Little Rock.” His eyes probe mine. “You didn’t get any sleep last night, did you.” It’s not really a question.

  I give him a look. “Did you really think otherwise?”

  “You can sleep on the way, and I’ll drive,” he suggests.

  I’m not going to argue with that. After driving most of the night, the last thing I want to do is sit behind the wheel. I also can’t deny that I’m happy to be back with him, and his presence is easing the tension that had developed over the past twenty-four hours. I motion to the earrings in my ears. “Should I remove these?”

  “No, leave them in until this is all over. Have you eaten?”

  Once again, I shake my head.

  “We’ll stop by a drive-thru on our way back. Pack up.”

  There isn’t much to repack, and I pick up my overnight bag and slip the strap over my shoulder. Then, we exit the motel room and walk towards the parking lot that spans the front of the one-story motel. An SUV is parked beside my car, and a tall man is speaking with two men and a woman, all dressed in street clothes. I recognize Detective Cadara immediately. As we approach, the tall man that looks to be in charge notices us heading their way.

  We join the small group, and Holden introduces us. “I don’t believe you two have officially met. Ren, this is Lieutenant
Martinez,” he says, motioning to the dark-haired man in charge.

  The lieutenant holds out his hand, his sharp hazel eyes sizing me up. “Miss Donahue.” He gestures to the unfamiliar man that I’ve never met. “This here is Detective Harris,” he says, introducing me to a short, lanky blond man that looks to be in his late twenties.

  We shake hands, and Lieutenant Martinez also introduces me to Detective Clark, the only woman on the small task force. She smiles warmly at me, her blond ponytail stirring in the breeze.

  “Nice to meet you,” I say politely.

  “I wish it were under different circumstances,” she replies in a light tone.

  You and I both, I think to myself.

  “And of course, you remember Detective Cadara,” Lieutenant Martinez cuts in.

  I glance at the heavyset, balding detective and give him a stiff smile. Thankfully, Detective Bruggs is back, and we all watch as he parks the vehicle a few spaces from where we’re standing.

  “We need to head back,” Lieutenant Martinez announces.

  “I’ll be riding with Ren. She needs to catch up on sleep,” Holden states as his expression remains impassive and yet firm.

  I watch as the lieutenant studies Holden, and I realize something is going on between them. After an awkward pause, the lieutenant nods his agreement. “We’ll follow.”

  I can’t get away from them all fast enough, and I’m relieved when we climb into my car, and Holden adjusts the driver’s seat to make room for his longer legs. He starts the engine and glances at me, catching me watching him. “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m happy to see you,” I confess.

  A smile pulls on his lips. “It’s good to have you in my sights again.” He puts the car in gear and backs out of the parking space. “We’ll have to get gas, you’re low.”

  We drive a few miles to the gas station that Bruggs had mentioned, and then we stop at a drive-thru on our way out of Birmingham.

  We’re both quiet as I eat, and I watch the passing scenery as I finish off my burger and tuck the wrapper in the fast food bag. After taking a sip of my soda, I settle back in the seat and relax.

  Holden waits a bit before breaking the silence. “What do you think gave us away?” he asks, referring to my father.

  “I’m not sure,” I say honestly.

  “We’ve given him a few opportunities to approach you.”

  I brush a strand of hair away from my face. “Maybe it’s been too easy.”

  He gives me a look. “I’m with you twenty/four-seven, how can that be considered easy?”

  I shrug. “With my father, you never really know.”

  He frowns and concentrates on the road, obviously lost in thought.

  “As much as I hate to say it, this could drag out for a while,” I murmur as the familiar weight of everything settles back on my shoulders.

  “Something has to change, or soon we’re going to be knee-deep in bodies.” His brow furrows. “That is if we could find the bodies. Why do you think he hides them?”

  My eyes focus on the window next to me, gazing sightlessly at the scenery we’re passing. “He never said why.”

  “Any ideas on where his burial ground could be?” Holden asks lightly.

  “Some place rural.”

  “That could be anywhere,” he says dryly.

  I turn my attention back to him. “I wish I could be more help,” I say sincerely.

  He reaches over and squeezes my knee. “You are helping us, Ren. We’ll get him. Why don’t you try to get some sleep? It’ll be hours before we get back to Little Rock.”

  Twenty-three

  Holden

  It’s late, and Ren’s fast asleep in my arms. We’d arrived back at her apartment three hours ago, and after we’d both showered, we’d inevitably hit the sheets. Both of us had been aching for each other, and shortly after sex, Ren had fallen asleep.

  It’s two AM, and I’m enjoying Ren’s naked curves pressing against my body. Her breathing is calm and steady, and every time she exhales, her breath gently caresses my collarbone.

  Nothing has ever felt so right. I think maybe Ren’s the woman I’ve been waiting for—not that I’d known I was even waiting. But now that she’s in my life, I can’t imagine letting her go. I frown, wondering just how far I’ve fallen for her. This can’t possibly be love already, can it? There’s still so much we have yet to learn about one another, but I can’t deny that there’s definitely a connection.

  Martinez’s expression earlier in the motel parking lot flashes in my mind. He thinks I’m getting too involved, and he’s right. I should have never crossed the line with Ren, but I can’t bring myself to regret it. The attraction is just too strong to resist, and Ren needs me. I think I need her, too.

  I’ve always shied away from getting serious with anyone, but when I’d been laying in that hospital bed recovering from an injury that should have killed me, I’d felt lonely for the first time in my life. Sure, Ellie and her husband had come to see me, and so had the guys from the department. But beyond them, there hadn’t been anyone else.

  Honestly, I knew at that point that my opinion on settling down was changing, but it wasn’t until Ren came along that I realized I was ready to open myself to the possibility. When this is all over, I’m hoping she’ll still want me in her life.

  It’s difficult having these feelings for her, though, because I’m not certain where I stand with her. Is it just sex? Could there be more, and would she be willing to fully let me in? She’s beginning to trust me, but she’s still closed-off, I can sense it.

  Ren makes a sound in her sleep, but thankfully it’s more of a contented sigh rather than one of distress. Her smooth leg shifts, adjusting along mine before she relaxes.

  My heart twists inside my chest.

  I want to shelter her from her father, but I can’t. She needs to face him so that she can find a way to rebuild her life. But I’m beginning to worry that somehow, something’s going to get fucked up, and I won’t be there when she needs me the most.

  * * *

  I wake before Ren the following morning, and I’m content to linger in bed, holding her as the sun begins to filter in from behind the blinds. I could get used to waking up like this. My body certainly enjoys it, and I struggle to control myself. As much as I would like to wake her and slip myself deeply inside her, I want to use this time to hopefully talk with her. We need to discuss her father, and I’d like to see how willing she is to discuss ‘us.’ I figure I’ll get more out of her upon first waking than later in the day when reality has had time to cast shadows over anything future-related. I can’t blame her for refusing to make plans after the investigation, but she needs to have hope and know that she has something to look forward to.

  I let my eyes drift closed as I patiently wait for her to wake. I’m actually beginning to doze when she stirs, signaling that she’s waking.

  I can’t resist brushing my lips against her temple, and she immediately curves her body into mine, snuggling closer as a contented sound leaves her lips. Her cheek is pressed against my heart, and her fingers flex along my side.

  “Morning,” I murmur.

  Her head shifts, and she presses a soft kiss to my chest before tilting her head back, peering up at me with sleepy blue eyes. “Morning,” she replies, her voice husky from sleep.

  My dick twitches, and I force myself to ignore it. Sex can come later, right now, I want to talk with her.

  The sleep clears from Ren’s eyes, and she props her chin on her hand, gazing at me. “This is nice.”

  “More than nice,” I correct with a smile. “Can I ask you something?” I ask lightly.

  Her eyes turn wary. “Ask away,” she says guardedly.

  I sigh inwardly. I wish she didn’t feel the need to be on guard so much around me when it comes to her past and her father. I’d thought we were getting somewhere when she’d confided in me only a few short days ago. “When this ends, will you go back to San Diego or stick aro
und here?”

  She moves off my chest, and I’m bothered by the distance she’s putting between us as she turns onto her side, facing me. She props her head on her hand and shrugs a bare shoulder. “I haven’t really thought about it.” Her eyes turn inquisitive. “I never considered that you probably have your own place.”

  I turn onto my side so I can face her without straining my neck. “I have an apartment across town,” I confirm.

  She smiles. “I bet the air works, too.”

  “Yeah, it does,” I reply, enjoying the sight of her tousled hair and makeup-free features.

  “Do you have any pets?” she asks curiously.

  “No, I’m gone too much. What about you? Would you ever want one?” I ask, hoping to learn more about her.

  Shadows flicker in her eyes. “I move around too much. But if I did have a stable life, yes, I would love one.”

  I reach over and brush a strand of hair away from her face. “Cat or dog?”

  “Probably a dog. A big one.”

  I’m not surprised. After everything she’s been through, the idea of having a dog to guard and protect her probably sounds appealing. She’s relaxed once more, and I debate how far to push the conversation.

  “What would happen if your lieutenant found out we’re sleeping together?”

  Ren’s tone is serious, and it brings my attention back to her. “He’d want to reassign me,” I say truthfully, not wanting to lie. “However, you’re reluctant to work with anyone other than me, so that gives me leverage,” I muse.

  A look of worry crosses her face. “He could pull you off the case?”

  “He won’t,” I assure.

  She nods but still looks troubled.

  Wanting to ease her concern, I reach over and tenderly brush my thumb across her lush, lower lip. “I’m not going anywhere, not unless you want me to.”

  Her eyes latch onto mine, and she remains silent.

  I pull my hand away and ask, “Do you think bartending will be a long-term thing?” I ask, refocusing the conversation.